Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
