i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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