I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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