Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
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Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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