he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My life is pants optional.
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