i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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