help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My ass is underappreciated
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
