I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there was a trapeze. enough said
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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