As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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