i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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