dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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