I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
