this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
