Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
