Duck Duck Cougar?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
