i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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