I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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