I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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