When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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