Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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