The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
