My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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