I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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