Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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