im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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