I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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