dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
