butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
