I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
