Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
