Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
