My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i've created a new STD.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
