I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
