It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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