2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
