You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
third nipple confirmed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize