Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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