Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
