these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
