tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
