hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
