That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
