i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
