Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
