she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
sarcasm needs its own font
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
