cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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