My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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