Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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