I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
