we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
