i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
