Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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