Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
