The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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