so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
