If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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