you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
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Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I want is dick and wine.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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