Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
