It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
